We'll blow off our heads in despair...

This is a veeeeery prettyful song, but it always reminds me of the themetune for Fireman Sam, which I know is really weird and random...but anyway. I think it's about all the stupid reasons why people kill themselves, and how sometimes they're just making something into a huge drama that they really don't need to die over, but whatever. I think that's it. And the first verse is about how superficial celebs are and how pointless the awards are...and the last verse is about really melodramatic-ness because it's just a lost bus fare...anyway, yah you should listen to this song. Fashion Awards by the amazingly incredible Eels. I blog waaaay too much about them.
OOO how prettyful is Lavan's song thing! I was trying to describe why it was so lovelyful to the mother, and she just seemed to think he was insane, and I was morbid and wrong. Anyway...I dunno. It's just like the ultimate in tragic love. Lol I shouldn't think about stuff so much, especially when I should be doing my English homework, of which I have written exactly...a page and a quarter.
OOO I like Athlete. My uncle copied them for me before I went on holiday and I listened to them loads on various trains...anyway, I like Athlete and The Killers, because I started singing along with them on the way back to Bedford from London. Lol. I fell down the stairs in a train station. I dunno why, I just couldn't deal with those stairs. It was the different colours, they totally confused me and I just tripped. Repeatedly...

Bleed Like Me...

Ok...I love this song. I officially do. Bleed Like Me by Garbage. It's just...whoa. Yah, I am so over-rating it, but I love it. It's the lyrics. They're just really... yah. And I think I'll just post them instead. OOO and also I love this book I'm reading, called The Pact. Everyone should read it. It's really whoa! So yah I am bored enough to over-rate everything.

Avalanche is sullen and too thin
She starves herself to rid herself of sin
And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin
And she says:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

Chris is all dressed up and acting coy
Painted like a brand new Christmas toy
He's trying to figure out if he's a girl or he's a boy
He says:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

Doodle takes Dad's scissors to her skin
And when she does relief comes setting in
While she hides the scars she's making underneath her pretty clothes
She sings:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

Therapy is Speedie's brand new drug
Dancing with the devil's past has never been too fun
It's better off than trying to take a bullet from a gun
And she cries:
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?

JT gets all fucked up in some karaoke bar
After two drinks he's a loser after three drinks he's a star
Getting all nostalgic as he sings "I Will Survive"
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
Hey baby can you bleed like me?
Oh, c'mon baby can you bleed like me?

You should see my scars
You should see my scars
You should see my scars
You should see my scars

And try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Just try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend

We can speak louder than ignorance...

Uh...I had my second riding lesson. And apparently I have good leg positioning, I sit deep in the saddle and my sitting and rising trot are both good. Yah, I don't know what any of that means either...:P Same horse, called William, and he kept farting, so that was fun...
Picked more apples. Dunno what dad's gf is planning on doing with all the apples, but apparently they'll keep all winter. Great. We can hibernate all winter and live off apples. Joy!
Oh, I leave for my holiday and 8.30 on Tuesday morning; I wish y'all happyness for the three days I'll be gone...well, the nearly three days.

"I can see Africa! I can see German!"

Little kids are annoying. Uh...an annoyingly loud small child-thing in Boots was being annoyingly loud and gave me the blog title, so that at least is kinda cool. But...I dislike kids.
My friends are the most incredibly amazingly lovelyfullest people in the entire world, even though everyone says that about their friends, but I totally mean it.
I just ate chocolate cake. I eat way too much sugar. I don't ever get hyper. It's weird. Maybe I developed an immunity to the hyping powers of sugar? That'd be strange. I should be the subject of scientific study. Maybe I am and I've just never noticed. How weird would that be?

One who fails = failure

Well James just gave me the title. Uh...what happened today? Hmm...well I dunno. Now I should be revising for a Soc. test that I've known about for like...a week maybe? And I haven't revised yet. And now I have the test...first lesson tomorrow? And I have like...three hours to learn it all. Since I did so incredibly mind-numbinlgy badly on the history test (why am I the only one who gave a shit about that? I'm me. I'm not meant to get bad marks. Especially not in history, which I thought I was good at, which is why this is such a big deal) I have learnt that revising is a good idea.
I knew I had a crap day ahead of me when I left today, but Jeebus. I did NOT need the 15 out of 35 history test to contend with as soon as I was in the classroom. Jeebus. That just depressed the hell out of me.
So...Soc. first lesson. That was crap. Uh...German second. Also crap. Break...nothing happened. Ugh, who cares? There were lessons, they were shit. There was lunch, it was shit. I cannot be bothered with this anymore. Might delete all my blogs. But I might just happy-make them...or make them all happy.

I am just an open book for everyone to take a look. Do my insecurities alarm you?

Well I had my first ever riding lesson earlier...yah I rode once when I was like eight but that doesn't count. Anyway, it was fun and I smell like horse and yah...might go again next weekend.
So...yeah I should really be doing hwk right now but I totally can't be arsed. I got hooked on this crappy little game this week where ya have to be a waitress and get people food and clear the tables and stuff and it's like yaysome! If you're as sad as me.

Uh...hmm...ooo ya know James did that whole Sometimes in a happy way? Well I'm gonna warp it and twist it and make it bad.

Sometimes you feel like you're the only person in the entire world, and that scares the shit out of you more than any horror film. Sometimes you have the same nightmare three times over in a night. Sometimes you forget tiny details and the fact that you forgot bugs you all day. Sometimes you have so much homework to do and absolutely no motivation. Sometimes you break promises you've made to people who cared about you (they don't care anymore though) and to yourself (you don't care about yourself either; you fucking hate you). Sometimes you just don't feel anything...and that scares you too. Sometimes you feel like there's nothing worth living for, but no reason to die either, so you're just doomed to eternal nothingness.

Oh...and on the plus side? Sometimes you can sit in the car next to your father, giving him evils and turning Placebo up loudly and singing along with it as loud as you can...all just to annoy him.

You don't have a clue what it is like to be next to you. I'm here to tell you that it is good, that it is true.

Well howdy y'all. Yoho Ahoy. Firstly...*Superhugs* to y'all. Secondly...missed y'all yesterday, but...Eels concert was AWESOME. So yah. OOO and before I forget...James, twas mean of you to use Enchio. Lol. And yep I am quoting the Eels for my title today. I am quoting Fresh Feeling from Elctro-Shock Blues, which is one of the albums I don't have, damn it! (People who do Christmas shopping really early, this is a hint to y'all.) Anyway, Fresh Feeling was the first song the excellent Eels played.
Ok, so I shall tell y'all all about it then. And if you honestly couldn't care less about my yesterday then sod off now, ok?
When I got in from school, I had time to watch the Trollz (dudes, it is awesome, oh and also damn you AGS guys for your vocabulary rubbing off on me) and then I washed my hair (I love to share pointless details that no one wants to know...). The mother drove us to the train station after Blue Peter...so about 5.30-ish methinks.
There was ticket buying...laughing at Chavs...following Chavs because we didn't know where the train was and we figured they were heading for London...they weren't. They got off at Luton. So then there was long journey...and the train was sooo warm and lovely...and the movement is sooo relaxing (I fall asleep in the car a lot...I get more sleep if I'm being driven about...I'm like a baby...) and I felt soooo sleepy. But I hate sleeping in public (as I mentioned in my English intro...lol) so I messed around with my phone to keep myself awake, and I texted James, who DID NOT TEXT BACK, which is a criminal offence, so that's two reasons for me to be pissy with him. Lol. Nah I won't be. Enough of a bitch as it is, which I am very grateful for the guys to continuously remind me...
Uh...then the sister made me run everywhere, so I was running round the Tube station trying to keep up with her...Three Underground rides later, and we had no idea where the hell to go. We set off one way, asked a French guy for directions, which, obviously, didn't help. Went back, and set off another way. Asked another guy for directions and he said, and I quote, "I'm sorry, I haven't the foggiest". I was actually unaware that people really spoke like that. Or that they wore Union Jack cufflinks...or that they even wore cufflinks...Mr Glenville is so weird. But then this woman who had just come from a MacDonald's I think told us that it was the way we'd just come from and it was quite far. The mother told me earlier it was almost a mile. So...yah, it was nearly 8 and we were going hell fast and I was getting rained on because my sister wasn't good at sharing the umbrella...and she was freaking out because she thought we were gonna miss it, and I was just like, "Yah ok calm down", which is obviously useless in situations of this kind, but ya know, it's just one of those things you say...So we finally found it and we were soooo relieved. Then we went in and got our bags checked, and got told where our seats were, but then we went back out to the toilets, and then when we went back in the lights were off...so I was stumbling along behind her in the dark, trying to get past people so I could get to my seat next to her...not so good. But anyway. And they were playing this little Russian cartoon, which, methinks, linked into Eels songs. Parts of it where based on parts of songs, and the characters sang little songs, which I swear were Eels quotes...anyway, it was a really cute random cartoon.
And after that a film about the Eels played. I found out that there are actually 29 non-permanent members; this is really cool. There were some funny interview clips...he's a funny man. Mark "E" Everett I mean. Teehee, none of you care. I'm just babbling on and you're all like, yah, w/e. I can tell.
Uh...there were 7 Eels involved in Eels with Strings...at least in the Europe section anyway. Big Al, The Chet, E (duh) and the Eels Ladies (Heather, Julie, Paloma and Ana). Uh...instruments being...double bass, viola, two violins, guitar...keyboards...piano and percussion. And when E came on it was just like whoa! Because he is so incredibly cool. He walked on swinging a cane and smoking a cigar. He kinda chain smoked through the whole show and it was awesome because you could smell the smoke. I could smell E's cigar smoke! Yaaaaaaay! Lol I'm so sad.
Uh... I knew a lot of the songs. Most of 'em actually. There were some majorly hardcore Eels fans there. And me and my sister were the youngest people there. And we couldn't work out when to leave because they kept coming back for more encores, so that was funny... We left then ran back in and stood at the back.
Then going home my sister was so tired...I took pictures of her with my phone and she looked drunk. I listened to CDs and wrote some crap for the blog.
"This is written on the train on the way back to Bedford, and it's nearly one in the morning, so please excuse me if it doesn't make much sense. I figured I'd write this since I'm bored. I'm weirdly untired. I'm still hyped up, really thirsty and my feet are killing me. My little toes and blistered and cut up. My heels were rubbed by my Converses. Converse rub the heels. Remember this children. Learn this lesson well."
So...that was my night...and my morning. We got home at about 1.15, and I got to bed by about 2...woke up at 5...got up at 6.30 and went to school...limped all day (my feet are so screwed) and was slightly out of it, but so untired it's unreal. Three hours sleep is only like an hour less than I normally get so it's honestly not that bad, but how insane am I for turning down a day off? I just figured I'd be lonely and bored, so I might as well go into school...and I'm glad I did. Because I would have felt lonely and bored staying home. At school...I felt retarded...forgotten...outsider-y...hated...yep. It was a good day. Lol.
Bye bye all my bored to death friends. Love y'all. Lol, no I don't. "Hate a lot of things, but I love a few things".
OOO and also hell loads of hwk to do tonight. May not go in tomorrow. Be easier that way. Take a day off to stop stressing...

Nothing is taking me down, down, down...except you my love...

Ok so Damien Rice is incredible. Well ok. I don't actually like his voice. I like his lyrics. And I like the womany person who sings. I love "I Remember". It's so frail and beautiful, and then he just totally loses it and gets so bitter about it...
I feel like writing, which is the way I always feel when I have loads of homework. Stupid creativity never strikes until it can't be used.
I should go do my homework. I have I think three science sheets in for tomorrow, and then I have to do my History homework also because I have the Eels concert tomorrow night. I was excited about it. Oh and I think I got Hannah's cold. So...at least it's from a nice person. But still a cold.
Yah homework. I'm gonna go do it.

Fuck what they say. Fuck it if they talk. It really doesn't matter.

Stephen Fretwell has an incredibly beautiful voice and his lyrics are just...wow. I love him at the moment. Him and Jack Johnson. Awesome guys. "New York" by Stephen Fretwell is about running away and escaping for a dream...and I dunno. "Emily" is about a girl that he is constantly saving, and he just gets tired of it, and tired of her...it's sad. Jack Johnson...hmm...check out "Banana Pancakes", "Good People" and "Break down". "Banana Pancakes" is sweetness. About a guy trying to persuade the woman he loves to stay in bed with him all day, and how they can just pretend that there isn't a world outside...muchly sweetness.
Um...Eels concert on Wednesday.
I wish everyone happiness and love and health and wealth and I send you positive vibes. I want everyone to be happy...
See ya guys.

"If the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'."

Anyway, so in P.E we're back on badminton. I am soooo shit at it. I can't hit the bloody thing, even if I hold the racket the way retards are meant to hold it. I suck at it so bad it's actually painful. I was just so embarrassed and I felt so useless and it's just...yah I hate it. I hate it. I sulked a lot and I came very close to bursting into tears. But meh.
Science...we watched an incredibly funny video about bacteria and viruses. And an unlucky guy who had a bad day and ended up at a gay bar where he caught a cold. Yes, it was a fun video. Everyone should see it.
Break was fun because the guys had a bouncy ball, and Emma had iced gems. Both good things. Lol. Appreciate the small things because the big things don't happen that often...
Then Maths...Random-Guy-Called-Craig was at college, so I was sitting by myself. Antonio (who is not a bastardo, at least for now) helps me in maths quite a lot, and sir is always telling him to shut up because of me, so I feel bad for that, but I get it when he explains it and sir is just a caveman who talks bollocks. So yup. Oh, and he asked me a question and I had no idea what he was on about, so yup, got it wrong. More embarrassment, more nearly crying. I am so fucking pathetic.
In aRSe we went to the library. Mr Cottrell was very nice and broadcast that the librarian is my mother. Enchi and I kinda worked together. I glared at random chav guy. Twas...fun. Nah, we were bored out of our minds, but methinks we are getting two (peace, not fuck off) green cards out of it, so yay a green piece of card how awesome. Ha, note the sarcasm.
Lunch...kinda fun. Apparently I am less socially retarded than Enchi, but I think I have the ability to switch between total social retard and I'll-talk-to-you-but-I-won't-look-at-you mode. Which is apparently a good thing. I got in some kinda weird kicking thing with Glen...hmm sounds dirty. Oh well. It wasn't. And I somehow hurt myself slapping Chris...hmm...
Uh...English was ok. I contributed to the discussion, surprisingly. So no longer the giggling retard at the back. Good to know.
The mother bought me The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse DvD. She called it a late birthday present, but that makes no sense since my birthday was in June. Lol.

"Jesus Loves You!"

Well it's Operation Christmas Child time of year again. That kinda sucks. Yah, I know this makes me seem really heartless, but it's like...you're FORCED into being considerate and sharing and helping others. So that kinda defeats the object of acts of kindness right? If you're only doing it because they made you?

Watching the movie, the world's gonna end...

Well ok. I figure I'll start with...today was an awesome day! And IT'S A WEEK AND ONE DAY UNTIL I GO TO THE EELS CONCERT WITH MY INCREDIBLY LOVELYFUL SISTER AND IT'S SOOOOOOO YAYSOME!
So yah. Lol. Uh...today was good because...hmm. Well for starter's I got a more normal amount of sleep last night. And only one bad dream. And I woke up pretty tired, which is this weird thing I've worked out. The earlier you go to bed, the more tired you feel when you wake up in the morning. This is honestly true. If you go to bed at 2 AM and wake up at 6 AM you can just get straight up and be fine. Whereas if ya go to bed at 11.40 PM (yeah I'm that sad that I remember what time I go to bed. It's cause last night I was reading 1984 and I got up to I think chapter 5 and now I'm on like chapter 7 cause I was reading it in the library this morning and then I was reading it in English after the assessment, which took me like twenty minutes to write...) and wake up at 6.30 AM, ya just go straight back to sleep. So yah. That's my theory.
Anyway. So yeah, more sleep. And lots of reading of 1984. Which is good. And alone time in the library. Which is also good, but sounds kinda dirty. Hmm... Then I managed to do my Soc. hwk in registration (and I KNOW that's spelt wrong...) which was good because I hate when teachers get pissy at me because I don't know what to do. I either cry or I get really stressy back, and that's not a good thing, so I just cry anyway. Lol. Doesn't matter anyway. Tahsa was good and did her hwk in like fifteen minutes, even with ASSHOLE JAMES PAGAN poking/bsssk-ing/punching her and George annoyingly kicking me and moving my chair and tipping it and then I kinda randomly screamed and stood up, so yah...I'm not mad.
Uh...English assess first lesson. Mine was crap. But I did it. And I did it quite quickly. So I doodled on my planning sheet. I've noticed most of my doodles are circular or have a circular theme. Dunno what that's about. Then I read 1984. Fun. I like the concepts in that book, but the characters are so flimsy.
Uh...history after. Verrrrry funny. Mr F lessons rock. Mr S lessons suck. Today was Mr F and twas freakin' hilarious (yah mebbe I want an American accent). Ha! Lewis got persecuted! Doesn't happen enough. He deserves it all. I am soooo not sadistic.
Break was kinda dull methinks. Can't remember anything happening. Except I think I heard Nick making up a poem in appreciation of Pringles...oh well. Weirdness happens all the time. I start a few weird convos sometimes, like the snail mating thing. I should try to be more mature or something. I dunno.
Uh...Soc. after break. That was actually ok. Too much writing, what with the essay, which I haven't finished, and have to have finished for Monday's double lesson, but I reckon I could do it easily if I was actually motivated.
OOO Science after that. Science lessons are hilarious lately. It's greatly goog. I always end up working with Nick in groups, and generally talk to Glen and Emma and Enchi a lot and whoever wants to wander over and join us. It rocks. Well today people were trying to gain flight using books (this was an experiment btw) and I was being stupid and being unable to find my pulse or work the stop watch. So Dougie tried to find my pulse then Nick tried to find my pulse and he says he found it but me and Enchi reckon he was lying and it's all a conspiracy and really I'm dead. Lol. Yah so we had to go with Nick's pulse instead. Since mine was...not.
Lunch...methinks was dull. Glen called me loveless. That was nice of him. But I do hate most people. So I guess it was justified.
German last lesson. If Lewis wasn't there, it would be ok. I am just thankful he didn't sit next to me.
I feel the need to add that I got beaten up in Science. Nick whacked me with the books and blamed it on spasms. Then Glen randomly punched me. And yah. Fun.